How fucking sad is this...
2009 - The end is near.
Which was the best month for you? Somewhere in the Summer.
Which month(s) was the worst? January.
What was the most significant thing that happened this year? The people that I met, and the money that I wasted.
What person had the most impact on your life this year? Matt.
What was the best concert that you attended? Brian Jonestown Massacre
What was your biggest challenge of 2009? Stopping my Heroin affair.
Your biggest regret? I never regret anything.
What moments stand out to you the most? The ones shared with the women at the bar.
What band did you listen to the most? Bob Dylan…or maybe Tim Buckley.
On a scale of 1-10, 2009 was: 2.
Did you:
Meet anyone special? Yeah
Get close to someone you didn’t expect to? Yes haha
Have a boyfriend or girlfriend? No.
Have a relationship for more than 3 months? No
Hook up with anyone, no strings attached? Many times.
Experience the death of a loved one? Yeah, a few people.
Get in a fight? A few verbal, one physical.
Lose a friend? Yes, but we’re okay now.
Get drunk? hahaha.
Regret doing something? See above answer.
Go to a concert? Yeah
Fall in love? Yes
Fall out of love? Still there.
Get back together with an ex? No.
Enjoy being single? Not at all.
Accomplish a goal? Sorta.
Learn something new? Yeah. don’t trust anyone.
Get arrested? Patted down a couple of times, but no cuffs.
Break up with someone? No
Get a tattoo? 1 or 2.
Go to a party? A few, yeah.
The New Year: 2010
What will you be doing on New Year’s Eve: Drinking, snorting and maybe walking around a little.
Will you kiss anyone at midnight? Whatever guy or gal is closest to me.
Who do you WANT to kiss at midnight? Natalie, but that won’t happen. Fuck.
What is your New Year’s resolution? To get the fuck out of Buffalo, and clean up my act.
Did you keep your resolution from last year? My resolution was to live through the year.
Do you think things will be different in 2010? I really really hope so, I’m sick of this.
What do you want most out of 2010? To be happy
Do you think 2010 will be better than 2009? It can’t be any worse.
Anything you are particularly looking forward to? Finding someone that wants to hold my hand.
Free Games
Clad in pink
I stand on the surface
of exhausted chivalry
you launch into a speech
about how
we must find a way
to freeze this landslide
circle around the brink
and at the last minute
slide through
the bitter eyechart
there’s no harm
in side effects
between equal animals
the wind raises it’s volume
to optimism
maybe
but at what hour
do you notice?
Off To Work....
This will be my first day at work since Wednesday. I haven’t had a drink, or a cigarette since then either….or xanax for that matter. I am still feeling weak, and my stomach is still a bit upset. But I can’t miss any more days because of this. I really wish I could get the fuck out of this town, I’ve grown bored with it. And I’m starting to resent all the people that I know…and that isn’t good….I know. Im going to go trim my beard…and walk to work through the ever fucking present snow. I hope y’all have a great day!
evermore:
I fucking hurt all over. Creaky knees, rusty knuckles, stiff back, achy ankles. I’m too young to be falling apart.
I feel that way all the time, especially in the winter. The cold makes your bones do funny things….so do people I suppose. Sleep well…
Ya know...
I really hope that whatever it is that you want to steal, turns out to be that which I don’t really care about. It’s going to happen…of that I’m sure. But I’m not ready to say here, this is mine. Vampires blend in so well don’t they? Clearly, I’m not ready…
Vic Chesnutt...
I could’ve gone up to Toronto to see him play last month, and I didn’t go. I figured….there’d be another chance. Fuck.
I am so very sick....
I have been throwing up, sweating and getting chills for the last 48 hours. And I had a huge rash all over my body yesterday. It’s hard for me to even be awake. I haven’t had a cigarette in two days as well, and I’m a 1 pack a day kinda guy…so that’s making me feel even worse. I’ve missed work, haven’t been able to write or play guitar….and I can’t hold any liquids inside of my body. I’m hoping that I don’t feel this way tomorrow.
Preacher
You and I
slip
into a quickened pace
of nothing new
even the simplest of movements
made the greatest of noises
in the rafters
your happiness shone briefly
in absence of my movement
a rotting slideshow
gliding over
erased arguments
struggling through
a bold font
pinwheel lie
praying for an understanding
back in town
retrieving the same phrase
from everyone
FORGET!
a breath of meanwhile
black coffee
double dosed
and wrought
with antique loops
of your lips
gently dusted
with pool cue chalk.
That kind of nite....
I am done writing for the day. I wrote three poems today, I only posted one because I didn’t want to clog up your dashboards with empty beer cans. I am in the mood for Gram Parsons, and Gram Parsons only tonite. I hope y’all sleep tight. And have dreams that don’t get amazing right before you wake up.
These songs right now…
November Nights. In My Hour Of Darkness. She…
